10 Tips For Managing Social Anxiety (From A Therapist)

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Last updated on January 12, 2024 by Randy Withers

If large groups and other social situations make you nervous, this article is for you. Social anxiety can be debilitating, but you don’t have to suffer from it indefinitely. It is possible to manage social anxiety, as long as you know the best ways to do it.

In the United States, social anxiety is not an uncommon struggle. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 7.1% of American adults experienced social anxiety disorder in the past year, with a higher prevalence in women (8.0%) compared to men (6.1%). %). In recent years, factors such as the pandemic and increased reliance on social media for social interactions have exacerbated this problem. The pandemic has reduced our face-to-face interactions, creating challenges in social comfort, while social media, while connecting us digitally, often lacks the depth of real-life interactions, creating a feeling of disconnection.

Ideally, initiatives like population health management will address social anxiety and related mental health disorders on a macro level, but the reality is that it is up to each person to learn the best ways to manage social anxiety in their daily life.

To that end, this article provides practical tips to help you manage your social anxiety, allowing you to feel more at ease in social settings, even in a world where genuine connections are increasingly valuable but sometimes difficult to forge.

Related: NIMH Overview of Social Anxiety Disorder

What is social anxiety disorder (SAD)?

SAD, or social phobia, goes beyond typical shyness. It is a serious mental health condition characterized by an intense fear of being judged or observed in social situations. This fear significantly affects daily activities, work and school life. While it is normal to feel nervous occasionally, SAD occurs because these feelings are so overwhelming that they lead to avoidance of social interactions.

We focus here on everyday social anxiety, the type of nervousness you may feel when meeting new people or speaking in a group. This article is about how to learn to manage these feelings so they don’t stop you from living your life to the fullest.

With this in mind, let’s look at some practical and practical tips to help you manage your social anxiety. These are practical strategies for making social situations less intimidating and more enjoyable.

Ten tips to control social anxiety

1. Understand your anxiety

Getting information about what triggers your social anxiety is a crucial step. It could be public speaking, interacting in large groups, or starting conversations. By identifying these triggers, you can work on specific strategies to address them. For example, if public speaking is a trigger, joining a speakers club could be beneficial.

Understanding your anxiety also means recognizing how it manifests in your body, such as sweating, shaking, or feeling short of breath. Awareness of these responses is the first step in learning to control them.

2. Learn to practice deep breathing

Deep breathing is more than a simple relaxation technique: it is a tool to combat the physiological symptoms of anxiety. Anxiety can trigger a “fight or flight” response in the body, and deep breathing helps counteract this response by activating the parasympathetic nervous system. This helps reduce heart rate and blood pressure, creating a feeling of calm.

Techniques such as the 4-7-8 breathing method can be especially effective: inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds.

3. Prepare for social situations

Preparation can significantly reduce the uncertainty and discomfort associated with social interactions. This might involve rehearsing conversations, planning topics to discuss, or thinking of questions to ask others in advance. The goal is to reduce the anxiety of being put on the spot, making interactions feel more manageable and less intimidating.

This preparation not only helps with initial engagement, but also builds trust over time, as repeated practice makes these interactions feel more natural.

4. Challenge negative thoughts

Anxiety often brings with it a flood of negative thoughts that can make social situations seem more daunting than they are. Questioning these thoughts involves critically examining them and questioning their accuracy. For example, replace thoughts like “I’ll say something stupid” with “Everyone makes mistakes and that’s okay.”

This cognitive restructuring can reduce the power of negative thoughts over time, making social interactions less intimidating.

5. Focus on others, not yourself

Diverting attention from oneself to others in social situations can reduce shyness. By actively listening and participating in what others say, you are less likely to worry about your own anxious thoughts.

This not only helps you control anxiety but also improves your social skills. It fosters a genuine connection with others, making social interactions more rewarding and less stressful.

6. Start with small steps

Tackling social anxiety in a gradual, step-by-step approach can be very effective. Start with situations that are slightly outside your comfort zone but not overwhelming. As you gain confidence in these scenarios, gradually expose yourself to more challenging situations.

This approach helps build confidence and resilience, making each new step seem more achievable.

7. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness involves staying present and participating fully in the here and now. This practice helps manage social anxiety by allowing you to observe your anxious thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them. Mindfulness can be cultivated through activities such as meditation, yoga, or simply by focusing intensely on your current activity.

Regular mindfulness practice has been shown to reduce anxiety symptoms and improve overall mental well-being.

8. Limit avoidance behaviors

Avoiding anxiety-provoking situations may seem like a relief, but in the long run it can reinforce fears. By gradually facing these situations, you will be able to prove to yourself that you can handle them and that they are not as threatening as they seem.

This doesn’t mean throwing yourself into overwhelming situations, but rather taking manageable steps to face your fears. Over time, this exposure can significantly reduce the power of these fears.

9. Know when to seek professional help

Professional help can be invaluable in managing social anxiety. Therapists can provide personalized strategies based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or other approaches. They offer a safe space to explore your anxiety, understand its roots, and develop effective coping mechanisms. For those whose daily lives are significantly affected by social anxiety, career counseling can be a critical component of your management strategy.

While seeing a therapist in person is ideal, socially anxious people may feel better seeking a solution online. I recommend Better Help.

Prioritize self-care

Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being can have a profound impact on your ability to manage social anxiety. Regular exercise, for example, can release endorphins that improve mood and reduce stress. A balanced diet, adequate sleep, and engaging in hobbies or activities you enjoy can also improve your overall mental health.

When you feel good physically, you are more likely to feel confident and less anxious in social situations.

Final thoughts

Managing social anxiety is a journey of personal growth and often requires external support. Professional help is a fundamental part of this journey. Therapists and counselors can offer personalized strategies and support, making the path to managing social anxiety less intimidating. They provide knowledge and tools that are difficult to discover independently.

While this article shares practical advice, the importance of career guidance cannot be understated. Mental health professionals can navigate the complexities of social anxiety with you and offer personalized support.

As you adopt these tips and seek the right support, remember that every small step counts. Overcoming social anxiety is not achieved overnight, but with perseverance and the right resources it is totally possible. Here’s to taking those steps toward a safer, more socially engaged life, where anxiety no longer controls the reins.