As told to Erica Rimlinger
As my dazed mind emerged from anesthesia-Induced sleep, my mother sounded very far away while giving the news.
“The doctor couldn’t perform the operation,” she said. “There was too much cancer.”
The next thing I remember is a kind chaplain entering my hospital room. Her presence made me feel at ease as she listened to my fears about the unknown. She said, “I’m not leaving this room until you make an appointment with a doctor.” oncologist.”
My brain quickly shook off the dream and I thought, “This can’t be happening.” My next thought was, “I have six children, ages three to 18. One of them has autism and Down syndrome. I have no choice. I have to fight.”
Before I was diagnosed stage 4 colon cancerI had neglected my own health. I spent most of my time in the car, shuttling my kids to activities and school, delivering groceries to customers via Instacart, and eating fast food on the go. I had been running around, too busy to put my needs at the bottom of a never-ending to-do list: laundry, chores, eating, homework, and always more laundry.
If I could go back and talk to myself six years ago when I was having unusual gastrointestinal symptoms that… gallbladder If having my gallbladder removed hadn’t solved my problems, I would tell my younger self, “Go back to your doctor. Tell him something. Tell him that the gallbladder procedure didn’t get rid of my symptoms. Please do him a favor.” colonoscopy She recommended instead of the sigmoidoscopy It wasn’t as comprehensive, but it cost less. “Talk. Take the time, because you’re worth it and your health is priceless.” But my husband had argued that I had already spent too much time and money on my health problems, so I stayed quiet.
Now, lying in the hospital bed, my mind filled with bad news swirling in a cloud of fading anesthesia, my mission was clear. A week later, I would meet with my new oncologist and learn that I could never have another operation, even if my appendix had ruptured. “It won’t help you live longer,” he told me. “You’ll be on treatment.” chemotherapy for the rest of your life.”
I started aggressive chemotherapy and had genetic and biomarker testing done, not just to look for a genetic marker like Lynch syndromewhich is associated with an increased risk of colon cancer, but to help my doctor plan treatments with more effective results.
They weren’t going to wait for the results, though. The biopsy showed that my cancer scored 95/100 on the aggressiveness scale. It had wrapped itself around my internal organs like a film and had reached both of my breasts.
While enduring treatment, I reinvented my life. I started meditating, I practiced yoga, I made time for walking and exercise, I kept a gratitude journal every day, I surrounded myself with positive friends and family, and I realized how much I had been neglecting myself. I had so much anger bottled up inside me.
Julie and her six children, 2024
I started therapy and learned to take better care of my body, mind, and spirit. Instead of burying my emotions, I now speak up. I left my unhealthy marriage and am proud of myself for not giving up. The time I have here will be spent nurturing my authentic self. I have a great support system in church, friends and family, and online support groups like Town of Columbus.
Chemotherapy side effects are unusual but tolerable: drinking cold water is like swallowing knives, and touching cold surfaces is like touching knives. But honestly, I’ve never felt healthier. neuropathy on my toes, another side effect of chemotherapy, doesn’t stop me from walking 5 kilometers to raise money and awareness for life-saving cancer research.
My genetic testing showed that my cancer was not due to genetics. I was shocked, as I had a cousin who died of colon cancer at age 41. This alarmed my sister, who went in for a colonoscopy and had urged me to get one at the time. I was 45 at the time, and at the time screening recommendations didn’t start at 45 like they do now, so I thought my sister was exaggerating. My cousin was a smoker, I thought. And I’m so young. At the time I didn’t know that colon cancer can strike at any age, and in fact is increasingly common in younger people.
There was a lot I didn’t know before, but I’ve spent this time educating myself about my disease, my health, and my treatment options. I’ve learned that there are now surgeons who specialize in removing cancer at very advanced stages.
In fact, I recently saw a surgeon at Yale Medicine’s Smilow Cancer Hospital who told me I’m a candidate for surgery because I’ve been stable on chemotherapy for two years and seven months and have been walking two miles every day. I still have hurdles to overcome before that can happen: six more rounds of chemotherapy, a CT scan, a PET scan, and a blood test after chemotherapy. But if the surgeon is happy with those results, I might get a scan. laparoscopic surgery In mid-November, if all goes well, the surgeon will remove the primary tumor, resect my colon, remove my appendix, and remove lymph nodes in my pelvis and near my aorta. This procedure could help me live longer. That is my top priority: to be here as long as possible for my six children.
My 6-year-old daughter asked me, “Mom, what will I look like when I’m 10?” I realized I might never know. At church, I was brought to tears when I saw a 10-year-old girl who looked just like my daughter. I don’t want to miss my children’s milestones, and I’m determined to live long enough to see them grow up.
In many ways, I feel healthier than ever. I exercise, go to therapy, volunteer at church, and now live a balanced life with my values aligned. I have learned a lot about how to take care of my mental and physical health after my cancer diagnosis. Most of all, I have learned that it is never too late to prioritize health.
This educational resource was created with support from Merck.
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