Three Ways Parents and Educators Can Build Connection at School

By Ariana Hoet, Ph.D., and Whitney Raglin Bignall, Ph.D., of the Children’s Mental Health Foundation

Since the pandemic began, we continue to hear concerns about children and their mental health at school. These concerns include increased isolation, loneliness, feelings of anxiety, school avoidance, and a widening gap in academic achievement.

One way to help protect children’s mental health this back-to-school season is through connection. When children feel connected at school, their mental health improves by:

  • Improve your grades/scores
  • Developing self-confidence
  • Keeping them engaged
  • Reduce risky behaviors (such as violence or substance use)
  • Reduce loneliness, anxiety and depression.

Both parents and teachers have a role to play in helping children feel connected and belonging.

How Parents Can Help Build Bonds at School

1. Show interest in your child’s school life.

Ask your child how school is going and try to keep the questions open-ended, not ones that can be answered with a yes or no. You can ask who they spend time with at school and what they do together, what projects they are working on, or something fun they learned this week. Try to give children your full attention so you can absorb what they are saying.

When you can, follow up a day or two later with a question about that group project, an upcoming test, or a teacher they like. This shows that you’ve heard them and that you care about their school life.

2. Promote school friendships

Relationships with others at school will help them feel part of something bigger. Teach your children social skills (like waiting patiently for their turn or thinking about how another person would feel). How to make new friendsand what healthy friendships look like. Talk about how you can make plans outside of school and how you can ask your parents for contact information.

3. Get involved in the school community

Please ask at the school office or check the school website for a calendar of events so you have the dates of breaks, conferences, events, and other important dates. Attend school as much as your schedule allows.Attend a curriculum night to meet your teacher, go to an after-school game or concert, or volunteer at an event. When your schedule is limited, small actions like emailing the teacher to introduce yourself and find out what the classroom needs are can also go a long way.

How Educators Can Help Build Connections at School

1. Get to know each student

You can use Classroom conversation starters Getting to know students in a group setting. Taking the time to greet them individually or ask a follow-up question about something they shared can give students a sense of importance and belonging.

2. Help children work together

When students Feel closer to your peersThey will also have a greater sense of belonging and connection. Encourage them to get to know each other through projects or activities. As a teacher, you can notice when a student is being excluded or isolating themselves. Supporting that student to find like-minded friends or to notice their strengths through different classroom activities can have a major impact on their mental health.

3. Set a positive vision

The expectations you have for your students and how you share them are important to their confidence and success. If you are confident that they can perform well in the classroom and share the strengths you see in them, students can feel welcomed and accepted.

Find more ideas and free downloads for parents and teachers at KidsMentalHealthFoundation.org.

Dr. Ariana Hoet is the Executive Clinical Director of the Children’s Mental Health Foundation and a pediatric psychologist at Nationwide Children’s Hospital. Dr. Hoet works in a primary care setting where she primarily serves Latino and Somali immigrant children.

Dr. Whitney J. Raglin Bignall is the Associate Clinical Director of the Children’s Mental Health Foundation. Dr. Raglin Bignall works with families at a nationally recognized Pediatric Primary Care Center, serving a primarily low-income and racially diverse community.

The Kids Mental Health Foundation is the leading organization promoting children’s mental health in the United States. To realize its vision of creating a world where mental health is a vital part of raising every child, more than 1,000 mental health professionals and researchers at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, in collaboration with other trusted experts, bring real-world knowledge and experience to power the Foundation’s free educational videos, guides and programs.

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