This educational resource was sponsored by Poise, a Kimberly-Clark brand.
As told to Jacquelyne Froeber
A few years ago, I was at home when I felt the urge to pee. I headed to the bathroom, but halfway there I started to pee. I quickened my pace, but some of the urine didn’t make it into the toilet. I was surprised and thankful to be home. I laughed and ignored it. I should have waited longer than I thought to go, but I also felt uncomfortable.
I’m not exactly a stranger to urine leakage. I was in a terrible car accident as a teenager and suffered multiple pelvic fractures and a ruptured bladder, along with other injuries. I was in a coma for a while, but my body healed and I returned to playing the sports I enjoyed before the accident. During my first track meet after my recovery, I was running the quarter mile and struggling to stay ahead of the pack when I felt a warm sensation begin to spread through my legs. It wasn’t long before my maroon shorts were soaked. Each step confirmed that I had peed in front of the entire school. I was mortified.
That experience taught me an early lesson about my body and urine leakage: Pushing my body could end in humiliation. I would never run again. I wouldn’t even look at a trampoline. But I learned that I could do less stressful physical activities, like biking and walking, and I would be fine.
I put the urination incident behind me and went on with my life with virtually no urine leakage. Years later, I gave birth to two children, both by C-section, and never had any bladder problems. I continued my active lifestyle and laughed and sneezed uncontrollably until I was in my 40s.
And then things started to change. Like many women in perimenopause, my body is changing. I was hoping the bathroom incident would be nothing serious, but it happened again the following month and I slowly started leaking before I could go to the bathroom more frequently.
My job made it an even bigger problem. I work in home health care, so I’m always in the car going back and forth. I’m not really supposed to use the bathroom in other people’s houses, so I have to find a gas station or fast food restaurant where I can just walk in without buying anything, which makes me feel bad, but if I had to buy something every time I had to pee, I’d be broke.
Since I don’t have the freedom to go to the bathroom if I have the urge, I have to hold it in. But these days, the urge means I have seconds, not minutes, before I have to pee.
This has led me to use anti-leak pads almost every day because sometimes it’s not possible to get to a gas station (or any bathroom). Plus, I know I’m just one sneeze away from a leak, so the pads help me feel less stressed about work and every time I leave the house.
Back then, after the track incident, I went to see a urologist to have my bladder leak, technically called urinary incontinence, evaluated and to find out if there was anything I could do to improve the situation.
She told me to train my bladder by pushing out urine forcefully and stopping the flow midstream. All these years later, I’ve been pushing and pushing thinking I was strengthening my pelvic floor muscles, but it turns out the jury is still out on whether that’s the best thing to do.
Instead, my current gynecologist encouraged me to relax and let the urine drip and flow naturally without pushing hard. This is hard because it’s the opposite of what I’ve been doing since I was a child, but I’m trying.
My gynecologist also told me that people who have abdominal surgery are more likely to experience urinary leakage. Since I had abdominal surgery after the car accident and two C-sections, that’s a triple whammy for me. And age probably plays a role, too.
As my urinary incontinence has been getting worse lately, I started pelvic floor therapy a few weeks ago. There I work on strengthening and activating my muscles with a pelvic floor therapist.
To help control the symptoms, I make sure not to drink an excessive amount. But a girl should have some Funny. I still drink coffee in the mornings, even though it is irritating to the bladder. (Tip: drinking a glass of water with it can make it less irritating.)
In fact, virtually everything related to bladder leakage is irritating.
I’m a single mom, so I’m tired most of the time, and I don’t always want to think about what I’ve been taught about bladder health. I don’t always want to wait two hours for my bladder to fully expand. And I don’t want to have to relax my pelvic muscles when I’m in a gas station bathroom. Sometimes, I just want to push, go, and get out of there.
And sometimes I do, but most days I try to respect my bladder. I hope pelvic floor therapy will help. Until then, I won’t feel comfortable unless I wear a pad, because life goes on.
With the help of pelvic floor therapy and pads, I hope I can soon get back to running for fun instead of just running to the bathroom.
*Mary Kathryn is not her real name.
Resources
National Continence Association
This educational resource was sponsored by Poise, a Kimberly-Clark brand.
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